Dancing Salamanders

The First Weeks

1 August 20246 min read

If you're reading this right now, just after, there is only one thing we want you to take in first: you don't need to manage any of the practical things today. The brain is in shock, the body is in shock, and nothing that normally feels simple — answering the phone, remembering what time it is, eating — is working the way it usually does. That's not strange. It's the brain protecting you by slowing everything down.

Many of us remember exactly that feeling: standing in a kitchen full of people and not understanding why someone is asking about coffee. Forgetting what you were going to say in the middle of a sentence. Writing the same thing down five times because you don't trust your memory anymore. That's how it is. That's how it's allowed to be.

This piece is meant as a hand to hold through the first weeks — not a checklist to perform against, but a collection of things that can be done, by you or by someone else, in whatever order feels possible. No order is wrong.

Most Things Can Wait

First, the most important thing: very little must be done today or tomorrow. Bills can wait a few weeks. Wardrobes and rooms don't need to be cleared now, or for several years if needed — there is no deadline for when you're "ready." Decisions about headstones, about urns, about what happens to belongings can almost always be postponed until your head can think clearly again.

If someone around you thinks things should go faster — don't listen to that. You set the pace. There is no right way to do the first weeks. Only your way.

Let Others Help — Concretely, Not Just "Get in Touch"

Many people around you want to help but don't know how. It's worth letting someone close to you organise the help, so that you don't have to delegate tasks yourself in the middle of the shock. Some things that often work well to hand over completely:

Food. Let people bring meals, or ask a friend to set up a simple schedule so food doesn't arrive six days in a row and then never again.

Contacts with authorities and institutions. Someone else can call the relevant bodies to ask what needs to be done, and then tell you at a calm pace.

Picking up and dropping off children. If there are children in the family who need to be at school or nursery, letting another adult take care of that routine in the first weeks gives the children continuity even when you can't manage the drive.

Pets, plants, post. Small things that otherwise become a weight on top of everything else.

Accepting help isn't failing. It's making it possible to survive the first weeks.

If the Police Are Involved

For many of us, the police came to the scene, and it raised a fear we carried for a long time: are we under suspicion of something? Almost never. When someone dies by suicide, a police investigation in many countries is routine — part of establishing the cause of death, just as with other unexpected deaths. It's an administrative process, not a sign of suspicion against you or the family.

It can still feel overwhelming to face police and questions in the middle of shock. If you can, ask someone else to be the one who answers the phone when police or the coroner's office gets in touch, or ask for written information instead of having to hold everything in your head during a call.

The Funeral Home Helps with More Than the Funeral

Many of us engaged a funeral home and were surprised by how much they can actually take off your hands — not just the ceremony, but paperwork, contact with registrars, and practical questions about what needs to be done and when. Ask them directly: "What can you help us with, beyond the funeral?" It's also completely fine to take time choosing a funeral home and to bring a support person to the meetings.

Being Signed Off Work Is Okay — and Common

Not being able to go to work after a loss like this isn't weakness. It's a reasonable response to something extreme. Many of us were signed off work in the first weeks, sometimes longer, and that's entirely normal.

Contact your doctor when you're able — even just a phone call or digital contact is enough to get started. You don't need to explain in detail exactly what happened; it's enough to say that you've lost someone close to suicide and can't manage work right now.

Who Tells Your Employer and School?

It can feel overwhelming to call around and tell the story over and over. Let someone close to you take on that role — to call your employer or the school if there are children involved, and pass on what needs to be said without you having to repeat the story every time. You choose how much is shared, and with whom. Nobody else decides that.

Write Things Down — Memory Fails in Shock

This is one of the most concrete pieces of advice we pass on: get a small notebook or a note on your phone and write down the important things — phone numbers you've been given, what a call was about, what you decided. Shock makes memory unreliable in a way that's entirely normal but also very frustrating. Writing things down isn't pedantic, it's kind to your future self — the one who won't remember who you spoke to on Tuesday.

Accept Support Early

Many of us waited too long to seek community, out of fear of "bothering" people or because we thought we should manage on our own first. But support early in grief — even just sitting beside someone who understands — makes the first weeks a little lighter to carry. You don't have to wait until you "feel bad enough" or until you have words for everything.

There is no manual for the incomprehensible. But you don't have to invent everything yourself, and you don't have to do it alone.


Support right now:

  • Mind Självmordslinjen (Sweden): Call 90101 or chat at mind.se — open around the clock, anonymous and free
  • 1177 — healthcare advice around the clock
  • Emergency: 112
  • Cruse Bereavement Support (UK): cruse.org.uk — 0808 808 1677
  • International Association for Suicide Prevention: iasp.info