Dancing Salamanders

Where Can I Turn?

22 August 20244 min read

One of the most common questions we encounter, whether it has been a week or ten years, is the simplest and at the same time the hardest: where do I turn? Grief after suicide rarely comes with a clear map. You become bereaved without warning, and nobody hands you a list of what exists or who you can call. Many of us fumbled in the dark for a long time before we found support that actually felt right.

This piece is meant to be the map we ourselves wished we'd been given earlier. It isn't a complete list of everything that exists — that would be a book — but it gathers the most important routes in, so you have somewhere to start from. You don't need to take all the routes at once. Choose what feels possible right now.

If It's Urgent

If you or someone you know is having thoughts of not wanting to live, or if the danger is immediate, there is always somewhere to call, around the clock:

  • Emergency services — for immediate risk to life (999 in the UK, 112 in EU, 911 in the US)
  • Samaritans (UK/Ireland): 116 123 — free, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can call for your own thoughts or to talk about your worry for someone else.
  • Crisis Text Line (UK): Text SHOUT to 85258
  • Crisis Text Line (US): Text HOME to 741741
  • Mind Självmordslinjen (Sweden): Call 90101 or chat at mind.se — open around the clock, anonymous and free

It is always right to get in touch here, even if you're uncertain whether it's "bad enough." It is.

Through Your Doctor

Your GP is often the natural first point of contact, even if it doesn't always feel obvious to go there for grief. You can get signed off work if you need it, and a referral onwards to talking support, a counsellor or psychologist. You don't need to know exactly what kind of help you want when you book — it's enough to say that you've lost someone close to suicide and need support.

If there are children in the family, child and adolescent mental health services can be a route for younger bereaved people who need professional support beyond what family and school can provide.

If you have an employer with occupational health provision, this can often provide crisis support or a referral more quickly than the usual waiting lists — worth asking your employer about. If you're studying, student health services at your university or college are often a similar route, often with shorter waiting times.

Charitable Organisations and Peer Support

Alongside formal healthcare, there is a whole field of charitable organisations — often led by other bereaved people — that offer something healthcare rarely has time for: time, community and understanding from someone who knows what it's like.

Some organisations that support people bereaved by suicide:

If You're in Sweden

  • Mind Självmordslinjen: Ring 90101 eller chatta på mind.se
  • Livslust och hållbart stöd: livslusths.se — peer support, walks and groups for those bereaved by suicide
  • SPES — Suicide Prevention and Survivor Support (Sweden): spes.se
  • 1177 — healthcare advice around the clock

Online Communities

For those who live far from in-person groups, or who need connection at hours when nothing else is available, online communities can offer something real. Forums, Discord servers and peer support groups online have allowed many bereaved people to find others who understand at two in the morning when the thoughts won't stop.

The important thing is that whatever format of support you try, you don't need to arrive with fine words or a sense of having "come somewhere." You're allowed to come exactly as you are, in the middle of the waves.

You Don't Have to Know What You Need

This is perhaps the most important thing: you don't need to know what kind of support you need before you ask for it. You don't need to have the right words. You don't need to have decided anything about what you want or how you want to talk about it.

You just need to take one step toward not carrying it entirely alone.


Support right now:

  • Emergency (UK): 999 — Emergency (EU): 112 — Emergency (US): 911
  • Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
  • Mind Självmordslinjen (Sweden): 90101 or mind.se
  • International Association for Suicide Prevention: iasp.info